Saturday, November 9, 2013

How do you know whether this love will last forever?

"I've recently watched a Hong Kong Drama which in the story, there's a married couple who at the start of the plot portrait themselves as role-models who are "happily married" for decades. 

At the later episode, it was reviewed that the wife has an affair with younger man. 

Then one fine day, the wife caught her husband also having an affair with another woman. 

The couple confronted each other. 
The wife said she's shock that she don't feel jealous when she discovered her husband had an affair and the husband also confessed that he no longer loved her even though he had tried hard. They both confessed that their love have faded and they feel more like family/friends than lovers. In the end, they decided to end their marriage. And they were happy that they were finally able to let go."

"Totally disagree with their philosophy"

If we enter into a marriage with the mindset that the feeling of love (affection) is everything, then "divorce" is just a matter of time. 

In almost all relationships, there will be a stage when the affection dies and marriage become more of commitment and responsibility to a family. 
Marriage means more than just the feeling of love. 
Marriage is a commitment, a long term commitment. 
It's like you cannot just "divorce" your father.

Some people believe falling in love is all about fate and leaving it to take its chance when it comes.
On the contrary, I think love is about making effort to engineer opportunities to fall in love 

There are types of falling in love: 

1. Infatuation, feeling butterflies in your stomach and racing heartbeats. 
The thoughts that he/she is the special one with no specific reason. 'Yes, the typical Korean drama way of falling in love'

2. Knowing yourself and finding someone compatible (compatible means to have common vision in life). Knowing that falling in love is to enter a long term commitment and making sacrifice and accommodating each other to reach a common goal.  

Point 1 will often leads to a short term relationship if point 2 is not met eventually.

Infatuation versus commitment, often infatuation wins. 
And many times, people mistaken infatuation for love. 

So "How do u know whether this love will last forever?"
My answer: It is your choice. 

After saying much. I won't confidently say that I will definitely have a blissful marriage with no second thoughts. 
I mean we are all human.
At the end of the day, It's about self-control. Subconsciously making the effort to not stop loving our partner and to stay committed. It's definitely easier to be said than done. 

Jia You to Marriage!!

With Love, 

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