Do not judge parents who co-sleep with their babies

A few days ago, I saw friends on Facebook and parents on parent group share The Straits Time news article titled "36-day-old infant who dies after sleeping with parents"

Here's the link for those who have not read the news: 

http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/36-day-old-infant-dies-after-co-sleeping-with-parents

I was emotionally strirred by this article. And felt a need to vent it out here

Sad for the parents who have lost their young baby.

Disturbed by how the author of this article wrote .... which may lead to readers thinking that it's the parents' fault. 

Furious when I saw people who made insensitive comments which suggest that the parents were lazy by choosing to co-sleep with their baby. 

In real life, there are many parents who co-sleep with their babies and often, parents made this choice not because they are lazy but rather they genuinely feel that it's better for their baby. I am one of those who co-sleep with my baby after my confinement and I can understand why parents will choose to sleep with their babies. 

👉🏻Co-sleeping is having a baby in the same room which include bed-sharing or putting the baby cot next to the adult bed. 

👉🏻Co-sleeping does not necessarily increase the risk of Sudden Infant Deaths (SIDs). The risk is higher if the parents who co-sleep are heavy sleeper, smoker, consume alcohol/ drug that can cause drowsiness. 

👉🏻There are babies who cry the moment you put them into the cot and will only sleep soundly when their care givers are next to them.

👉🏻There are many reports which support that co-sleeping if done cautiously is beneficial for babies. I do not want to list down the benefits point by point here so you can click onto the link the check.

Here are a few articles including a published research paper:

http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-co-sleeping-a-sids-danger

http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/cosleeping.pdf

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/baby-sleep/co-sleeping-8-benefits/

👉🏻Yes, it's true that there is risk of suffocation for babies from bed-sharing. However, there is risk in everything we do. Sleeping inside a cot (in a separate room) is not always the safest choice too. There are cases of babies who died while sleeping inside their cot too. We can try to minimise risk but sometimes accident still happens.

👉🏻Every baby is unique and there is no one perfect solution that works for all babies. Some method may work for baby 1 but not on baby 2. I have heard from many parents who told me that before they became parents; they thought they were well-prepared from reading all the guide to parenting 101, but then when it comes to the actual thing, many supposedly proven methods DON'T WORK .. and we can only try whatever we can and learn "on job". Often, we doubt ourselves for every decisions we made... we will not know whether our method works but we hope for the best. Parents will continue to worry till maybe our kids have grown up or till the day we part the world. Or perhaps still worrying when we are up in heaven. 

The parents in the article are probably in grief and will do anything and everything to have their baby back so hope people who made insensitive comments will learn to understand their pain.

Hope to article will help to spread love & knowledge and not hate & doubts. 

- Mommy eve 

Toddler's activity: The Making of Father's Day card

As you can see from the title, this post is about the making of Daddy's Father's Day card! 

With the help from Daddy, motherhood has been endurable  enjoyable. My SAHM life has been less "黄脸婆-like" as Daddy has been helping me in daily house chores. Moroever, ever since I complained about having no time for myself, he tried to bring Aedan out on weekends to allow me to have some "me-time".

So to reward his contributions and to celebrate Father's Day, I had been thinking hard what present should I give him. Had planned to give him an iPhone cover with our family picture on it. I bought online weeks ago but sadly, it was discovered by Daddy before Father's Day :( Didn't hide it well. 

Couple iPhone covers.

It's really hard to buy things for Daddy because he's VERY particular about the things he wants.. he will only buy clothes which he really really likes ... we can walk in and out of shops multiple times and it can take up to weeks or even months for him to find something he likes. I do not dare to any how buy things for him so I thought it will be good to make something for him with the help from Aedan. 

This was our FIRST handmade project for Daddy!

Today, I'm sharing with you our mini project and this can be an activity for caregivers and toddlers too. We spent hours making it and clearing the mess and I realized this activity is a pretty good way to kill time with the toddler. 

1. I found brown wrapping paper which was the left over from my last present wrap. I used it as the base for the card. 

And I used a crayon to write the word "Happy Father's Day" on it. 

 

2. We found many used papers which Aedan and I torn them into pieces. 

🌟Believe or not, tearing papers have been proven to be a good way for toddlers to work on their small muscles in hands. 

 

3. Then I applied glue onto the "Happy Father's Day" wording and let Aedan placed the scrap papers onto it!

 

 

4. And Tada!! It's done! Super easy right. So easy that a 22 Months toddler could do. And I personally think it's quite artistic 😂

 

5. Posing with our handmade card time! 

I took like a zillion photos to get a few good shoots. Lol 😂 

 

 

 

 

6. After it's all done, I passed Aedan a plastic bag and asked him to put all the remaining paper into the bag. He was happy picking up the paper with me. Another simple activity for him. 

 

 

Daddy was touched when he saw the first handmade card from Aedan. And the cost of making the gift - $0.00. They were all used materials. 

There's one special ingredient in it - lots of love from Aedan and Mommy (hehe ☺️).

Besides the handmade card, we celebrated Father's Day by having our dinner outside. 

In Singapore we used to dine out almost everyday. But now living in Israel, we cook almost every meals and only dine out on special occasions. 

 

Had a mega dessert called "Eiffel Tower" which was a plate of sinfully sweet heaven. The plate was filled with cakes, brownies, biscuits, macrons, cream puffs, ice cream and top with lots and lots of whipped cream. It's my happy dessert. It felt like we're celebrating Mother's Day! 😊

After our dinner, Aedan refused to go back to his stroller and demanded Daddy to carry him... After a while, Daddy put him down and we tried to get him to walk instead. We held his hands and surprising he never refused. It's the first time that we walked hand in hand with Aedan between us. Since young, I dreamed of having a family like this. And it felt like my dream has came true. 

This Father's Day was a satisfying one for me... I hope it's the same for Daddy. Though the handmade card is a simple one, I felt happy to have made something for him. 

For those reading this, hope you'll find this simple art and craft a good way to spend time with your toddler. 

"Happiness is engineered/handmade with love"

- Mommy eve 

Travel tips: Travel with baby to Santorini

For those who follow and still remember, our family visited Europe last year and I promised to blog about our trip!

In my last travel post (months ago...), I blogged about the 13 things to do in Athens. 

Today, I'm finally going to continue documenting our travel memories ... 

👉🏻Sharing tips on how to travel within Santorini with a one year old baby. 

I believe Santorini is on many travellers' bucket list. Santorini is famous for their caldera view, blue roof churches, traditional cave houses, black sand and red sand beaches. It's one of the hottest tourist destinations in the world. Before we went on the trip, many told us that Santorini is not a baby friendly place .. Or so we thought.. 🤔

Transportation 

Within Santorini, one of the most recommended mode of transport is their local ATV which you can find their rental shops throughout the island. ATV is an affordable mode of transport which provides tourist the flexibility and convenience to tour the island at individual pacing. 

 

Photo credit to @jaysteves

However, it's definitely not a safe mode of transport for family who travels with baby. 😱

Before our trip, one of the greatest concern was transportation within the island. We had considered to rent a car but were worried that non-international license may not be acceptable. 

I went on to research on their modes of public transport and read about KTEL. KTEL is their local bus agency which has a main bus terminal located at central Fira. It has many buses that travel from Fira to all attractions in Santorini. The best thing - it costs only 1.80 to 2.50 euro per ride! 🎉It was super convenient and cheap for us to travel around Santorini with their local buses. 

 

You can check their timetable online and enquire the bus number at their main terminal at Fira. There's no need to purchase tickets prior as you pay only after boarding the bus. It's free seating on the bus and seats are on a first-come-first-serve basis. The buses can be really packed during peak hours so it's good to arrive earlier to ensure you get a seat!

Accommodation 

If you are looking to travel around Santorini via their KTEL public buses, it will be most convenient to stay at Fira since all buses depart from Fira. Fira is located at the centre of Santorini so the accommodations around Fira are always high in demand and cost more than the other area. It's advisable to book your accommodation at least 2 months before your travel date to secure a good deal. I booked our accomodation through Airbnb a month before our travel date and already almost all the good ones were fully booked and we were left with very few choices. We believe we grabbed the last good deal. 😆

Attractions 

If you think traveling with baby will let you miss out some attractions

You are Wrong.❌ 

We travelled to most of the best spots on the island. 

 Everyone planning a visit to Santorini should not miss these four places! 

1. Fira 

Of course we toured Fira since we booked our accommodation there. But even if you book your accom elsewhere, you HAVE TO visit Fira. It's located at the centre of Santorini with awesome caldera view, many restaurants, shops, beautiful churches and the famous donkey steps.

 

 

 

2. Oia 

Oia is another area well known for their scenic view, white wash cave houses, windmills and little blue roof churches . There are also many restaurants and shops around Oia. It's the best place to have a romantic dinner in Santorini. 

 

 

 

 

3. Red Beach 

This is one of my favourites! For those who love beaches, you CANNOT MISS this. You can take the KTEL bus ride to Kamari. In order to reach the red sand beach, you have to either hike or take a boat there.  I highly recommend travellers to hike there. Along the hike to red sand, you will be able to catch a cute white church and beautiful sea view. 

Check out our walking trail:

 

 

 

 

4. Black beach 

Besides red beach, Santorini is also well known for their black beach. The textures and colours of the sands are totally different and it's interesting how nature creates these beautiful differences. 

 

After our trip, we realised that it's not really difficult to travel with a baby to an island. We had so much fun exploring. Of course, baby wearing has made it so much easier to travel and hike. Also glad that I breastfed Aedan so he could be fed wherever we were. 

"Travelling creates memories that last a lifetime" 

- Mommy eve 

An open letter to my baby: Happy one year!

Aedan, you have turned one year old!! 

Happy Birthday to you!! 🎂

It has been such a journey! I have to say my life has changed so much (for the better) because of you. 

I still remember the feeling of you living in me, especially when you kicked me so hard during the last trimester that it seemed like you couldn't wait to come out. I was so afraid that you were going to destroy your home (my womb).

I remember the day when you were born. When I waited 17 hours after my water bag broke and pushed for more than an hour to finally see your face. That day was miraculous. It was tiring but all worth it when I saw your face and hear your cry. You cried so loud. 

I remember the many moments we had when I breastfed you. The first time was indescribable. You looked into my eyes as you suckle like you were trying to tell me "thank you mommy for feeding me". I'll never forget the look. The feeling that I'm able to provide for you. No words can describe this feeling. Also the painful first month when we both were still learning. Now we are both good at it. It has been one year.. Every day and night, we have so many moments together.

Life is such an adventure with you. You've shown me your new tricks everyday and it's fascinating to see how you have grown so fast. Many times when I look at you (especially when you were sleeping peacefully at night), I thank God (or whoever is there watching) for giving me such an angel. Life is so much more complete with you. 

There were so much precious memories although it has only been one year. Many more years of adventures with you. I hope I can remember all the memories forever.. Even if not, I hope my blog will help me remember all these beautiful days and moments with you. 

I love you so much! 

Thank you for coming into my life. ❤️

Though you certainly will not understand this letter now.. But I hope you will read it many years later.

- Mommy eve

Mommy diary: Aedan against Roseola

It has been sometime since my last post on our day trip to Tel Aviv. Many things had happened over the past weeks. Both "Good" and "Bad". 

From the title of this post, the bad news - Aedan was down with fever and rashes. It had been a tough week. He was soooo uncomfortable that he couldn't sleep well at night and he woke up frequently for nursing and comfort. He was uncomfortable through the day too and we had to carry him almost all the time. Just when his fever subsided, he developed rashes all over his body. Luckily, it did not itch. 

We went to see the doctor twice and he was diagnosed with Roseola which is a viral illness that commonly infect children between 6 months to 3 years old. The symptoms include sudden high fever which typically lasts for 3 -7 days and rashes right after the fever. The only good thing about getting this virus is that he'll most probably develop a lifelong immunity to it. #tryingtobepositive

Roseola is a self-recovered illness and there is nothing much we could do except to wait for Aedan's immune system to fight the virus. “加油加油”

The only thing we could do was to reduce his discomfort by nursing him and carrying him.. 

Our hearts ached so much when we watched him suffer as he fought the illness. This was the FIRST time he had fever. He did not develop fever from all his previous vaccinations. I never knew that handling a baby with fever could be so hard both mentally and physically. 

Kudos to all parents who had dealed with it!

We brought Aedan to a hair cut during his rash episode... cause we were worried that his hair (which had touched his eyes) will irritate his rashes. So Aedan has a new look!

He still has a little rash on him when I took this photo. 

Okay.. now it's the good news .. Twentysixoctober is planning for a month visit back to Singapore in Sept during Daddy's school break! 

What's better?! 

Before flying to Singapore, we will be visiting Greece and Italy and will document the whole travel journey. I'm so looking forward to this trip! Will share more about our travel planning and other stuff in another post. 

That is it for today. 

Bye! 

Mommy eve

#Mommydiary

Baby Food Recipe: Chicken Mushroom with Sweet Potatoes and Carrot Purée Porridge (8 months ++)

Aedan is 9 months old and he is really picky when it comes to food. I realized that he will eat ALOT more when his food contains more ingredients and has a richer taste. 

When I gave him just plain fruits or boiled vegetables purée, he will only take a few bites but when I made him more tasty food, he will gobble up a whole bowl! 

So recently I have been researching on Aedan's baby food and tried a few recipes I found online. Those recipes I found online don't really suit Aedan's liking. I realized that Aedan shows lots of interest in the "adult-food" as he will always try to reach out for our food or he will look at our food and shout when we were eating. However we couldn't gave him our food as it's usually cooked with seasoning like salt and pepper which are not good for baby. 

To allow Aedan to have a taste of the "adult-food", I tried to cook his food using the same ingredients that I used to cook for my own food without adding seasoning. Also, I'll cook it with porridge to make it softer and more digestible for baby. 

Aedan can eat a whole bowl of Mommy's homemade porridge for lunch! He really loves it a lot. I have tasted it myself and it's really flavorful. Daddy said even he could eat this for lunch. 

So to benefit those who face the same problem as me, I am going to share my recipe: Chicken Mushroom with Sweet Potatoes and Carrot Puree Porridge. 
This recipe is suitable for babies aged 8 months and above. 

Ingredients:

• One table spoon of white rice 
• One table spoon of brown rice 
• One mushroom
• A small piece of chicken meat 
• Two table spoon of pre made sweet potatoes + carrot purée 
• A few leafy greens (spinach or whatever vegetables available. This is optional)

Directions: 

1. Wash the white rice and brown rice in a small cooking pot to remove the dirt. You can stop when the water turns clear. You can use all white rice if you do not have brown rice. Brown rice is healthier than white with additional nutrients and it also aids digestion. White rice is softer when cooked in porridge so I prefer to mix both. 

2. Add water into the pot to cover the rice. You can add more water as it will slowly be evaporated.

3. Cook the rice and water at medium high temperature and wait for it to boil.

4. Meanwhile, chop the mushroom into fine pieces. As fine as possible so that it's easier for baby to eat. I have done some research on whether baby can eat mushroom and it's mentioned that it's nutritious for both baby and adult. There's no known case of baby being allergic to mushroom. However, we have to make sure that the mushroom is fully cooked before served. Mushroom will make the porridge have a savory taste. 

5. Cut the chicken meat into small pieces. You can cut it very small if you like but normally I will leave it at this size (as shown in the picture below). After it's cooked with the porridge, I will use fork and spoon to shred it into smaller pieces. It's easier to shred after the meat is fully cooked.

6. When the water starts to boil, pour the mushroom and chicken into the pot. Turn the heat to medium low and let it continues to cook. 

7. Monitor the porridge. Stir and add water if you see that the water is level is too low. 

8. When the porridge is cooked to the level of softness you deemed suitable for your baby, add the purée and finely chopped fresh vegetables into it. I will add vegetables at the last stage of cooking to avoid overcooking the green leafy. You will know that you have overcooked it when it turned dirty green in colour. 

9. Stir continuously for another about 3-5 mins. 

I like to use sweet potatoes and carrot purée as it will give the porridge additional sweet flavor. 

Moreover, I prefer to add spinach to provide iron into the meal. It's important for baby to have iron in their solid food. Do note that I will use fork and spoon to cut the vegetables leaves into very small pieces before feeding so that it will be easier for baby to swallow. I will leave out the stems part and eat it myself. :) 

Normally I will cook Daddy and Mommy's meal in tandem while waiting for the porridge to cook. 

Daddy and Mommy had Korean Spicy Chicken made from my homemade Kimchi that day! 

& this is Aedan's meal. This bowl of porridge is packed with lots of nutrients that is essential for baby's growth. 

Total cooking time: about 30 - 40 mins 

You can try it if your baby is a picky food eater like mine! Hope it will work for you too! 

With love,

Mommy eve

#Mommy Diary

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All photos are credited to Twentysixoctober. 

Learning what's best for baby.

Living in Israel for more than 2 months, I have been observing the way Israelis manage their kids and I have to say..

I'm utterly impressed.

In Israel, it is a common to see a mother walking on the street with 2-4 kids and no helper. They have one of the highest average birth rate in developed world - with about 3 kids per family. 

Many mothers are stay-at-home moms who are main caregivers for their kids and most of them work freelance at home. 

2 months ago, I went to a gathering and saw a boy at 7 months old (a few days older than Aedan) able to crawl and stand up by himself. At that time, Aedan was still not able to stand and crawl. "I'm not trying to compare the development pace of my baby with others. But it's just natural that I observe kids behaviours more ever since I have mine"

There was another time when I saw a 17 months old baby sitting at a baby chair next to his mother and elder brother. He was feeding himself to pita bread and he dipped into his choice of sauce all by himself. He did not fuss or throw the plate/food on the floor. 

I was so amazed and I asked these mothers how they taught their kids... 

I was expecting that they will share with me their "secret tricks" but instead they told me that they did NOTHING.

They just let them crawl and eat by themselves and gradually they mastered the skills.

I went home and thought about their words.

Did nothing.

This was exactly what was lacking.. I have done too much. 

When I was in Singapore, our family was so protective of Aedan that we will not let him crawl on the hard ground and will carry him whenever he fussed. I never realized that I was actually hindering his learning. 

After observing how Israelis take care of their babies, I tried to not overly protect and to let him explore learning on his own. 

There were times he fell and knocked on his head when he tried to sit on his own. He cried for awhile and then continued.. That's when he learnt that the floor is hard. (When we were in Singapore, we only let him crawled on cushion area or bed. He was not afraid of falling and he never learnt). 

After giving him the freedom to explore, he did not immediately master the skills, he failed a few times but that's part of learning. 

He tried again, fell, learnt and did it again, finally he managed to master crawling and sitting.

Now he's learning to stand on his own without support. We never force him. We simply let him be and we observed that he will try to pull our legs, hands, any supports that he can find to pull himself to stand. 

Now when i see him fall, I no longer rush to carry him. Instead, I'll encourage him to try again. 

Like us adult, often it's through multiple failures that we learn to master success. 

If we never let them fail, how will they learn to overcome failure and stand again. 

- Mommy Eve

#Mommy diary

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My thoughts of being a SAHM

Being a SAHM. There were days when I felt depressed.

I can't just do whatever I want. 

I cannot just walk out of the house and leave Aedan at home. 

I am almost 24 hours with my baby except for a short shower break. 

There's no "me-time" only "we-time".

Since young, I have been a goal driven person. I like the thrill of chasing something and achieving it. 

I like to score well in exams 

I like to join activities 

I like to perform

I like to work in reputable company

I like to hit high KPI

Basically, I like being a high flyer

However, after becoming a mom. 

I can't just do whatever I like without thinking about him. 

It's even hard to find time to blog. 

I usually blog when he's sleeping. I cant write all at once as I have to stop when he's up. And often I forget what I want to write after that.. 

Things cannot be done the best way. There were a few times (only happened once or twice) when I felt that my baby was a hindrance in life. "I felt guilty for having such thoughts"

I felt depressed, aimless and could not be myself. 

This did not last for long..as I felt that I couldn't let myself be in this negative mode for too long. 

So I had a talk with myself. I reflected through my life and questioned myself. 

Why am I here? What led me to this?

Is this what I really want? 

After a few sessions of reflections which is hard to explain.. I kind of find the answer for myself.

Being a mom is a new journey.

It's no longer the same life and the same me. 

It's a transition. 

And instead of thinking to rebound to the "old self". I should embrace this new way of life. 

Take things slowly.

Stop chasing. 

There's nothing wrong with taking things slow.

It's the best time of my life to take things slow.

When there's nothing good to chase for. Then stop chasing.

Take a break and appreciate life!

Appreciate motherhood, enjoy the little things around me and adapt a slower pace of life. 

If I cannot finish what I set for the day. I'll do it tomorrow!

Even If it's not perfect. It's okay.

It's okay to achieve nothing in a day. 

As long as Baby, Mommy and Daddy are happy, life's good. 

When i tried to squeeze in many things "trying hard" to be productive, I usually ended up being stress with a fussy baby and not producing anything good... Then I asked myself .. Doesn't it defeat my purpose of being a SAHM?

To be the queen for my prince and be the one to show him his whole new world. 

My greatest privilege now is to be able to watch him grow and be there with him. So I should enjoy those moments in life! 

Instead of thinking about what I cannot do. I started to think of what I can do. 

I can make good foods

Still blog

Travel

Read 

Watch and educate my baby

Then I realized that I can still do good things but in a slower pace. It doesn't matter. As long as I know what I want. 

In life, often we got so caught up with chasing things that we forgot what we really want. 

I have learnt that being productive does not mean being busy and doing many things.. It means doing things that truly matter.

Have you ask yourself what you want? 

I asked this many times. 

Being forgetful, I need to remind myself again and again.

Being a mother is one of the best experiences in life! 

Happy Mother's Day! ❤️

- Mommy eve

#Mommy Diary

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10 things you cannot miss when you are with your baby in the air

For those who follow our blog will have read that Aedan has successfully taken his first flight experience which is an adventurous 17hrs flight from Singapore -> Zurich -> Israel!

I'm going to share the list of items which we had brought on board and hope that this information will be useful to parents who plan to travel with your babies.

My checklist:

1. Diaper changing mat 

This is necessary as the changing table in the airplane is hard & cold which is not comfortable for baby to laid on. It will be better if you bring along a cushioned changing mat to put on top. 

2. Nursing cover

It is useful to nurse your baby during take-off and landing to reduce the pressure in baby's ears.

3. Baby carrier/sling 

There will be times when you need to carry your baby and walk around the airplane when your baby refuses to sleep or sit on your lap. It will be easier to put him/her in a carrier/sling. 

4. Carrier sling bag

If you are bringing your carrier along, it is good to bring a carrier sling bag to keep your carrier when you are not using it. 

5. Favourite toys + teethers 

This is important. There will be times when your baby fusses and his/her favourite toys can help to distract and calm him/her down.

6. Diapers + Wet wipes + Diaper cream + Ruyi oil 

Bring more diapers (at least 8-10). It is better to prepare more than having not enough. It is also to be prepared for unforeseen delay in flight. 

7. Blanket + Sweater + Socks 

It is cold when we are in the air so prepare blanket, sweater and socks for your baby. 

8. Extra warm clothes 

Needless to explain, extra clothes for changing. 

9. Baby lotion + Baby lip balm 

The air in the plane is dry so it is good to prepare baby moisturiser & lip balm for your baby.

10. Zip-loc bags/ plastic bags

This is used to keep your baby's soiled clothing. 

Aedan is fully on breastmilk so I did not bring any milk bottles, warm water and milk powder.

#mommydiary


Have fun flying!
Twentysixoctober

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