Do not judge parents who co-sleep with their babies

A few days ago, I saw friends on Facebook and parents on parent group share The Straits Time news article titled "36-day-old infant who dies after sleeping with parents"

Here's the link for those who have not read the news: 

http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/36-day-old-infant-dies-after-co-sleeping-with-parents

I was emotionally strirred by this article. And felt a need to vent it out here

Sad for the parents who have lost their young baby.

Disturbed by how the author of this article wrote .... which may lead to readers thinking that it's the parents' fault. 

Furious when I saw people who made insensitive comments which suggest that the parents were lazy by choosing to co-sleep with their baby. 

In real life, there are many parents who co-sleep with their babies and often, parents made this choice not because they are lazy but rather they genuinely feel that it's better for their baby. I am one of those who co-sleep with my baby after my confinement and I can understand why parents will choose to sleep with their babies. 

👉🏻Co-sleeping is having a baby in the same room which include bed-sharing or putting the baby cot next to the adult bed. 

👉🏻Co-sleeping does not necessarily increase the risk of Sudden Infant Deaths (SIDs). The risk is higher if the parents who co-sleep are heavy sleeper, smoker, consume alcohol/ drug that can cause drowsiness. 

👉🏻There are babies who cry the moment you put them into the cot and will only sleep soundly when their care givers are next to them.

👉🏻There are many reports which support that co-sleeping if done cautiously is beneficial for babies. I do not want to list down the benefits point by point here so you can click onto the link the check.

Here are a few articles including a published research paper:

http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-co-sleeping-a-sids-danger

http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/cosleeping.pdf

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/baby-sleep/co-sleeping-8-benefits/

👉🏻Yes, it's true that there is risk of suffocation for babies from bed-sharing. However, there is risk in everything we do. Sleeping inside a cot (in a separate room) is not always the safest choice too. There are cases of babies who died while sleeping inside their cot too. We can try to minimise risk but sometimes accident still happens.

👉🏻Every baby is unique and there is no one perfect solution that works for all babies. Some method may work for baby 1 but not on baby 2. I have heard from many parents who told me that before they became parents; they thought they were well-prepared from reading all the guide to parenting 101, but then when it comes to the actual thing, many supposedly proven methods DON'T WORK .. and we can only try whatever we can and learn "on job". Often, we doubt ourselves for every decisions we made... we will not know whether our method works but we hope for the best. Parents will continue to worry till maybe our kids have grown up or till the day we part the world. Or perhaps still worrying when we are up in heaven. 

The parents in the article are probably in grief and will do anything and everything to have their baby back so hope people who made insensitive comments will learn to understand their pain.

Hope to article will help to spread love & knowledge and not hate & doubts. 

- Mommy eve 

Toddler's activity: The Making of Father's Day card

As you can see from the title, this post is about the making of Daddy's Father's Day card! 

With the help from Daddy, motherhood has been endurable  enjoyable. My SAHM life has been less "黄脸婆-like" as Daddy has been helping me in daily house chores. Moroever, ever since I complained about having no time for myself, he tried to bring Aedan out on weekends to allow me to have some "me-time".

So to reward his contributions and to celebrate Father's Day, I had been thinking hard what present should I give him. Had planned to give him an iPhone cover with our family picture on it. I bought online weeks ago but sadly, it was discovered by Daddy before Father's Day :( Didn't hide it well. 

Couple iPhone covers.

It's really hard to buy things for Daddy because he's VERY particular about the things he wants.. he will only buy clothes which he really really likes ... we can walk in and out of shops multiple times and it can take up to weeks or even months for him to find something he likes. I do not dare to any how buy things for him so I thought it will be good to make something for him with the help from Aedan. 

This was our FIRST handmade project for Daddy!

Today, I'm sharing with you our mini project and this can be an activity for caregivers and toddlers too. We spent hours making it and clearing the mess and I realized this activity is a pretty good way to kill time with the toddler. 

1. I found brown wrapping paper which was the left over from my last present wrap. I used it as the base for the card. 

And I used a crayon to write the word "Happy Father's Day" on it. 

 

2. We found many used papers which Aedan and I torn them into pieces. 

🌟Believe or not, tearing papers have been proven to be a good way for toddlers to work on their small muscles in hands. 

 

3. Then I applied glue onto the "Happy Father's Day" wording and let Aedan placed the scrap papers onto it!

 

 

4. And Tada!! It's done! Super easy right. So easy that a 22 Months toddler could do. And I personally think it's quite artistic 😂

 

5. Posing with our handmade card time! 

I took like a zillion photos to get a few good shoots. Lol 😂 

 

 

 

 

6. After it's all done, I passed Aedan a plastic bag and asked him to put all the remaining paper into the bag. He was happy picking up the paper with me. Another simple activity for him. 

 

 

Daddy was touched when he saw the first handmade card from Aedan. And the cost of making the gift - $0.00. They were all used materials. 

There's one special ingredient in it - lots of love from Aedan and Mommy (hehe ☺️).

Besides the handmade card, we celebrated Father's Day by having our dinner outside. 

In Singapore we used to dine out almost everyday. But now living in Israel, we cook almost every meals and only dine out on special occasions. 

 

Had a mega dessert called "Eiffel Tower" which was a plate of sinfully sweet heaven. The plate was filled with cakes, brownies, biscuits, macrons, cream puffs, ice cream and top with lots and lots of whipped cream. It's my happy dessert. It felt like we're celebrating Mother's Day! 😊

After our dinner, Aedan refused to go back to his stroller and demanded Daddy to carry him... After a while, Daddy put him down and we tried to get him to walk instead. We held his hands and surprising he never refused. It's the first time that we walked hand in hand with Aedan between us. Since young, I dreamed of having a family like this. And it felt like my dream has came true. 

This Father's Day was a satisfying one for me... I hope it's the same for Daddy. Though the handmade card is a simple one, I felt happy to have made something for him. 

For those reading this, hope you'll find this simple art and craft a good way to spend time with your toddler. 

"Happiness is engineered/handmade with love"

- Mommy eve 

Mom confessions: Postnatal Depression

It's not easy to start this post. Recently, I chanced upon a post about a mother who jumped off the 12th storey of her HDB block with her newborn baby girl in her arms. I feel sad every time I hear news like this. I hope to share my story to bring awareness to Postnatal Depression (PND) which has always been a subject that is close to my heart. For those who follow may have read that I came from a single parent family but not many know the cause of my mother's death. She died from PND when my brother was little and I was only two years old. When I was really young, no one told me about her cause of death and I only got to find out when I was older. 

When I first discovered the truth, I felt sad that she chose to left us. 

I was curious about PND and read more about depression. After learning more about PND, 

I believe it's not her decision to end her life. She was lost and she's not in the right frame of mind. 

My dad told me before my mom died, she kept hallucinating that people talked bad about her. My dad thought she's just imagining things and it's nothing serious. At that time, depression was not a well known medical condition and not many people talk about it. If the people around her had known more about depression and if she managed to seek help, tragedy may not have happened. 

Ever since I became pregnant, my family paid extra attention to my emotional well-being. They were worried that I'll follow my mom's footsteps. Even I was worried. Because I have read so much about depression. I knew that anyone can be a victim of PND and the consequences of depression can be severe. In mild cases, a mother develops negative feeling and lack of motivation to connect. But in severe cases, a mother can hear things, see stuff and do things which are not within her control. 

And when people fall into that black hole, it's hard to get out by themselves, they need someone to pull them out.  

After my pregnancy, I tried to be vocal about my thoughts and emotions. I would share my thoughts with my hubby because I know it's important for me to share so that my close ones could help. It's a way for myself to help myself. 

Motherhood is not easy. When a woman becomes a mother, it can seem like everything in her world has changed. Our body stretches to accommodate another human being, our body produces so much hormones that make us hard to control our emotions. And during this changing process, we may feel that we are losing ourselves, we can no longer think, behave and make decisions like what we used to. 

And while these changes take place in our body, we struggle to strive in our new role as the caregiver to our babies who hardly know anything but only to cry when they need us. 

Any mothers can develop PND if they do not get the support they need. Mothers who need help may be scared to share their problems as they do not want to be judged or seen as less capable.

To all mothers out there, it's okay to seek help. We seek help because we care for our babies and we want to be a good mother. 

It's not a sign of weakness to seek help, it's a sign of growth which will make us into a stronger and wiser person. 

It's essential for friends and family to NOT judge or try to fault a mother, because you DON'T know what's best for her baby. Instead, be the audience and listen to her. When a mother grumbles, sometimes she just needs someone to assure her that she's not alone in this journey.  

Every sacrifice will be so worth it when we see the smile on our little ones. A mother needs to be well to be there to guide their little ones' growth. 

Mother's Day is right around the corner. I hope Mother's Day will not just be a day to celebrate with mothers. But a day for us to bring awareness to PND so that we can be more caring to all new mothers. We all can play our part to prevent PND. 

Happy Mother's Day. 

- Mommy eve 

Aedan's Birthday Party in Singapore by SacchaJoy

Hi all,

Recently, we celebrated baby Aedan's 1 yr + 1 mth birthday party in Singapore! The party was a joyful one. It was great to meet our friends and family again after being away from Singapore for some time. There were lots of chit chat and laughters... we talked about our life in Israel, their culture and how different it is from Singapore. During the party, besides catching up on each others' lives and playing with baby Aedan, another thing that caught our guests' attention was the super awesome Batman-Themed Dessert table. 

It was soooo pretty that we couldn't bare to touch the desserts and we took 1001 pictures of it. 

A few days ago, I posted a picture of the dessert table on Facebook/Instagram and have received Facebook messages from readers asking who made it.

I wish I could tell you that I have done it myself but the truth is it was set up by my friend who is the co-founder of SacchaJoy. 

It has been long since I last shared a story of inspiring mommy entrepreneur. Today I'll share with you the story of SacchaJoy! 

Who is SacchaJoy? 

SacchaJoy is an event / party planning company which helps to plan and coordinate events to ensure that it is smooth sailing and memorable. They specialize in baby shower, birthday parties, weddings, ROM and festive parties. As long as you have guests in the house, they are ready to help you create a blast.

Who is the owner?

SacchaJoy is managed by a sister team - Sheryce and Shirlyn.

Sheryce is a mother of 2 boys with a full time career. Shirlyn is my friend who also have a full time job. They are both passionate about event planning and they manage the business together.

What inspired the sisters to set up SacchaJoy?

Sheryce mentioned that it all began when she was planning for her 2nd son's 1st birthday party. She was very excited and eager to hold a memorable party for her boy which everyone would enjoy. She thought it will not be too difficult but when she got down to doing it, she realized that it was much harder than expected. There were so many things to plan and coordinate. It was too time consuming for her since she has a full time job and 2 kids to juggle on top of the daily chores. Luckily, she has her sister who helped her with the planning. 

After going through the planning once, she realised that many parents would face the same issue. It will be easier for parents to find someone who have the experience and expertise to plan the party. Given her own experience and contacts with vendors, Sheryce and Shirlyn started helping other mommies to plan their parties. Every party, they tried to improve on their decorations and concept. Also, being a mommy she understands the needs of mothers and try to make it as hassle free as possible while not forgetting to listen to each mommy's ideas to help them draft their dream dessert table. 

Soon SacchaJoy was established to extend their service to a wider audience and other events.

What're SacchaJoy's future plans?

SacchaJoy aims to expand their events planning to cover more personalized services. They strive to achieve their motto of creating priceless memories for their clients. Some of the services they are working on includes personalised cake smash outfit and baby rompers quilt. You may look up on their Facebook page for more updates. 

What Twentysixoctober thinks about SacchaJoy's service?

Before I engaged my friend, Shirlyn, for help, I thought I could save money and be creative by DIY-ing the dessert table myself. However, having to take care of Aedan, being overwhelmed with the planning of our Europe trip and not being physically in Singapore, it was difficult to plan and purchase items for the party. Luckily, my friend offered to help me so I gladly accepted it. :p

As I was in Israel before the party, I liaised with Shirlyn via whatsapp to discuss on the dessert table decoration and designs. 

1. Understanding the budget 

At the beginning, I told Shirlyn that I do not wish to spend too much for the party. I have opt for a "no-birthday-cake" dessert table as firstly a customized birthday cake can easily cost $200-500. Moreover, I personally think serving cupcake is a better option as it is presentable and requires no cutting to serve. Lastly, the party is not for Aedan's 1 year old birthday. It's more of a belated celebration for friends and family to see him when we are in Singapore. 

2. Theme of the party 

After understanding the budget, we needed to decide on the theme of the party. For me, I have long decided to have a Batman party. The got this idea when we bought a very cute Batman shirt for Aedan at H&M. We thought it will be good if he could wear it during his party. Batman is a pretty cool superhero as well. :) 

I like this Batman's quote: "We fall so that we can learn to pick ourselves up and rise"

I hope Aedan will be able to learn from failure and not be afraid to fall. 

After deciding on the theme of the party, Shirlyn sent me a few sample dessert table designs and we started to draft the idea. 

3. Decide the design for the backdrop 

My initial plan was to use black construction paper to cut out a city landscape and yellow construction paper to draw the light with a Batman logo within. However, Shirlyn suggested a better option which is to print poster design. It's more durable and I could place the poster in Aedan's room as decoration. The end result turn out really well. 

4. Selection of desserts 

SacchaJoy offers a wide variety of desserts selection. You can choose your desserts and the number of pieces depending on the number of guests. My favourites are their customised Aedan's cupcake, strawberry shortcake and batman poppies. They were really pretty and yummy! Many of my guests commented that they like the desserts because they tasted not too sweet. 

5. Design of the memory board 

Initially, I have opt out of having the memory board. However, my friend is very sweet to give it to me as a gift. All I have to do was to give Shirlyn the content to be included on the memory board together with a few pictures of Aedan. The end product was so pretty!! Though there was a small typo (spot the typo) but overall it's still very pretty. On hindsight, this could've been easily avoided if we had requested a soft-copy draft from them to check. 

After the party, I have to say that I am so glad that Shirlyn has helped me! It was so easy on my part as I only need to tell her what I want through whatsapp and the dessert table was so so nicely done. I couldn't ask for more! The cost of her service was not too expensive too. 

This diaper cake was made by me! :)

I heard from many mommies that they took at least one month of planning plus lots of stressful nights to DIY a dessert table. Yes, they managed to save a bit of money but given the time and effort spent...It may be more worth it to get a professional who have the expertise and contacts to do it. Time can be saved for better things and parents can fully enjoy the event without having to worry about coordinating and setting up the dessert table.

As a friends and consumer, I highly recommend her service. 

Discount code: 

We are spreading love to all our readers. If you are interested in their service, you may quote TWENTYSIXOCTOBER to enjoy a 10% off their service and a complimentary A2 memory board/collage foam board. This discount code is valid till 31st Dec 2016.

Plan your next party by contacting Sheryce and Shirlyn through sales@sacchajoy.com

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/sacchajoy/

Instagram: link @Sacchajoy

With love,

Mommy eve

An open letter to my baby: Happy one year!

Aedan, you have turned one year old!! 

Happy Birthday to you!! 🎂

It has been such a journey! I have to say my life has changed so much (for the better) because of you. 

I still remember the feeling of you living in me, especially when you kicked me so hard during the last trimester that it seemed like you couldn't wait to come out. I was so afraid that you were going to destroy your home (my womb).

I remember the day when you were born. When I waited 17 hours after my water bag broke and pushed for more than an hour to finally see your face. That day was miraculous. It was tiring but all worth it when I saw your face and hear your cry. You cried so loud. 

I remember the many moments we had when I breastfed you. The first time was indescribable. You looked into my eyes as you suckle like you were trying to tell me "thank you mommy for feeding me". I'll never forget the look. The feeling that I'm able to provide for you. No words can describe this feeling. Also the painful first month when we both were still learning. Now we are both good at it. It has been one year.. Every day and night, we have so many moments together.

Life is such an adventure with you. You've shown me your new tricks everyday and it's fascinating to see how you have grown so fast. Many times when I look at you (especially when you were sleeping peacefully at night), I thank God (or whoever is there watching) for giving me such an angel. Life is so much more complete with you. 

There were so much precious memories although it has only been one year. Many more years of adventures with you. I hope I can remember all the memories forever.. Even if not, I hope my blog will help me remember all these beautiful days and moments with you. 

I love you so much! 

Thank you for coming into my life. ❤️

Though you certainly will not understand this letter now.. But I hope you will read it many years later.

- Mommy eve

Mommy diary: Aedan against Roseola

It has been sometime since my last post on our day trip to Tel Aviv. Many things had happened over the past weeks. Both "Good" and "Bad". 

From the title of this post, the bad news - Aedan was down with fever and rashes. It had been a tough week. He was soooo uncomfortable that he couldn't sleep well at night and he woke up frequently for nursing and comfort. He was uncomfortable through the day too and we had to carry him almost all the time. Just when his fever subsided, he developed rashes all over his body. Luckily, it did not itch. 

We went to see the doctor twice and he was diagnosed with Roseola which is a viral illness that commonly infect children between 6 months to 3 years old. The symptoms include sudden high fever which typically lasts for 3 -7 days and rashes right after the fever. The only good thing about getting this virus is that he'll most probably develop a lifelong immunity to it. #tryingtobepositive

Roseola is a self-recovered illness and there is nothing much we could do except to wait for Aedan's immune system to fight the virus. “加油加油”

The only thing we could do was to reduce his discomfort by nursing him and carrying him.. 

Our hearts ached so much when we watched him suffer as he fought the illness. This was the FIRST time he had fever. He did not develop fever from all his previous vaccinations. I never knew that handling a baby with fever could be so hard both mentally and physically. 

Kudos to all parents who had dealed with it!

We brought Aedan to a hair cut during his rash episode... cause we were worried that his hair (which had touched his eyes) will irritate his rashes. So Aedan has a new look!

He still has a little rash on him when I took this photo. 

Okay.. now it's the good news .. Twentysixoctober is planning for a month visit back to Singapore in Sept during Daddy's school break! 

What's better?! 

Before flying to Singapore, we will be visiting Greece and Italy and will document the whole travel journey. I'm so looking forward to this trip! Will share more about our travel planning and other stuff in another post. 

That is it for today. 

Bye! 

Mommy eve

#Mommydiary

Baby Food Recipe: Chicken Mushroom with Sweet Potatoes and Carrot Purée Porridge (8 months ++)

Aedan is 9 months old and he is really picky when it comes to food. I realized that he will eat ALOT more when his food contains more ingredients and has a richer taste. 

When I gave him just plain fruits or boiled vegetables purée, he will only take a few bites but when I made him more tasty food, he will gobble up a whole bowl! 

So recently I have been researching on Aedan's baby food and tried a few recipes I found online. Those recipes I found online don't really suit Aedan's liking. I realized that Aedan shows lots of interest in the "adult-food" as he will always try to reach out for our food or he will look at our food and shout when we were eating. However we couldn't gave him our food as it's usually cooked with seasoning like salt and pepper which are not good for baby. 

To allow Aedan to have a taste of the "adult-food", I tried to cook his food using the same ingredients that I used to cook for my own food without adding seasoning. Also, I'll cook it with porridge to make it softer and more digestible for baby. 

Aedan can eat a whole bowl of Mommy's homemade porridge for lunch! He really loves it a lot. I have tasted it myself and it's really flavorful. Daddy said even he could eat this for lunch. 

So to benefit those who face the same problem as me, I am going to share my recipe: Chicken Mushroom with Sweet Potatoes and Carrot Puree Porridge. 
This recipe is suitable for babies aged 8 months and above. 

Ingredients:

• One table spoon of white rice 
• One table spoon of brown rice 
• One mushroom
• A small piece of chicken meat 
• Two table spoon of pre made sweet potatoes + carrot purée 
• A few leafy greens (spinach or whatever vegetables available. This is optional)

Directions: 

1. Wash the white rice and brown rice in a small cooking pot to remove the dirt. You can stop when the water turns clear. You can use all white rice if you do not have brown rice. Brown rice is healthier than white with additional nutrients and it also aids digestion. White rice is softer when cooked in porridge so I prefer to mix both. 

2. Add water into the pot to cover the rice. You can add more water as it will slowly be evaporated.

3. Cook the rice and water at medium high temperature and wait for it to boil.

4. Meanwhile, chop the mushroom into fine pieces. As fine as possible so that it's easier for baby to eat. I have done some research on whether baby can eat mushroom and it's mentioned that it's nutritious for both baby and adult. There's no known case of baby being allergic to mushroom. However, we have to make sure that the mushroom is fully cooked before served. Mushroom will make the porridge have a savory taste. 

5. Cut the chicken meat into small pieces. You can cut it very small if you like but normally I will leave it at this size (as shown in the picture below). After it's cooked with the porridge, I will use fork and spoon to shred it into smaller pieces. It's easier to shred after the meat is fully cooked.

6. When the water starts to boil, pour the mushroom and chicken into the pot. Turn the heat to medium low and let it continues to cook. 

7. Monitor the porridge. Stir and add water if you see that the water is level is too low. 

8. When the porridge is cooked to the level of softness you deemed suitable for your baby, add the purée and finely chopped fresh vegetables into it. I will add vegetables at the last stage of cooking to avoid overcooking the green leafy. You will know that you have overcooked it when it turned dirty green in colour. 

9. Stir continuously for another about 3-5 mins. 

I like to use sweet potatoes and carrot purée as it will give the porridge additional sweet flavor. 

Moreover, I prefer to add spinach to provide iron into the meal. It's important for baby to have iron in their solid food. Do note that I will use fork and spoon to cut the vegetables leaves into very small pieces before feeding so that it will be easier for baby to swallow. I will leave out the stems part and eat it myself. :) 

Normally I will cook Daddy and Mommy's meal in tandem while waiting for the porridge to cook. 

Daddy and Mommy had Korean Spicy Chicken made from my homemade Kimchi that day! 

& this is Aedan's meal. This bowl of porridge is packed with lots of nutrients that is essential for baby's growth. 

Total cooking time: about 30 - 40 mins 

You can try it if your baby is a picky food eater like mine! Hope it will work for you too! 

With love,

Mommy eve

#Mommy Diary

Like Twentysixoctober Facebook page to follow our stories.

All photos are credited to Twentysixoctober. 

Learning what's best for baby.

Living in Israel for more than 2 months, I have been observing the way Israelis manage their kids and I have to say..

I'm utterly impressed.

In Israel, it is a common to see a mother walking on the street with 2-4 kids and no helper. They have one of the highest average birth rate in developed world - with about 3 kids per family. 

Many mothers are stay-at-home moms who are main caregivers for their kids and most of them work freelance at home. 

2 months ago, I went to a gathering and saw a boy at 7 months old (a few days older than Aedan) able to crawl and stand up by himself. At that time, Aedan was still not able to stand and crawl. "I'm not trying to compare the development pace of my baby with others. But it's just natural that I observe kids behaviours more ever since I have mine"

There was another time when I saw a 17 months old baby sitting at a baby chair next to his mother and elder brother. He was feeding himself to pita bread and he dipped into his choice of sauce all by himself. He did not fuss or throw the plate/food on the floor. 

I was so amazed and I asked these mothers how they taught their kids... 

I was expecting that they will share with me their "secret tricks" but instead they told me that they did NOTHING.

They just let them crawl and eat by themselves and gradually they mastered the skills.

I went home and thought about their words.

Did nothing.

This was exactly what was lacking.. I have done too much. 

When I was in Singapore, our family was so protective of Aedan that we will not let him crawl on the hard ground and will carry him whenever he fussed. I never realized that I was actually hindering his learning. 

After observing how Israelis take care of their babies, I tried to not overly protect and to let him explore learning on his own. 

There were times he fell and knocked on his head when he tried to sit on his own. He cried for awhile and then continued.. That's when he learnt that the floor is hard. (When we were in Singapore, we only let him crawled on cushion area or bed. He was not afraid of falling and he never learnt). 

After giving him the freedom to explore, he did not immediately master the skills, he failed a few times but that's part of learning. 

He tried again, fell, learnt and did it again, finally he managed to master crawling and sitting.

Now he's learning to stand on his own without support. We never force him. We simply let him be and we observed that he will try to pull our legs, hands, any supports that he can find to pull himself to stand. 

Now when i see him fall, I no longer rush to carry him. Instead, I'll encourage him to try again. 

Like us adult, often it's through multiple failures that we learn to master success. 

If we never let them fail, how will they learn to overcome failure and stand again. 

- Mommy Eve

#Mommy diary

Follow Twentysixoctober Facebook page as it's where we connect with our reader.