Do not judge parents who co-sleep with their babies

A few days ago, I saw friends on Facebook and parents on parent group share The Straits Time news article titled "36-day-old infant who dies after sleeping with parents"

Here's the link for those who have not read the news: 

http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/36-day-old-infant-dies-after-co-sleeping-with-parents

I was emotionally strirred by this article. And felt a need to vent it out here

Sad for the parents who have lost their young baby.

Disturbed by how the author of this article wrote .... which may lead to readers thinking that it's the parents' fault. 

Furious when I saw people who made insensitive comments which suggest that the parents were lazy by choosing to co-sleep with their baby. 

In real life, there are many parents who co-sleep with their babies and often, parents made this choice not because they are lazy but rather they genuinely feel that it's better for their baby. I am one of those who co-sleep with my baby after my confinement and I can understand why parents will choose to sleep with their babies. 

👉🏻Co-sleeping is having a baby in the same room which include bed-sharing or putting the baby cot next to the adult bed. 

👉🏻Co-sleeping does not necessarily increase the risk of Sudden Infant Deaths (SIDs). The risk is higher if the parents who co-sleep are heavy sleeper, smoker, consume alcohol/ drug that can cause drowsiness. 

👉🏻There are babies who cry the moment you put them into the cot and will only sleep soundly when their care givers are next to them.

👉🏻There are many reports which support that co-sleeping if done cautiously is beneficial for babies. I do not want to list down the benefits point by point here so you can click onto the link the check.

Here are a few articles including a published research paper:

http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-co-sleeping-a-sids-danger

http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/cosleeping.pdf

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/baby-sleep/co-sleeping-8-benefits/

👉🏻Yes, it's true that there is risk of suffocation for babies from bed-sharing. However, there is risk in everything we do. Sleeping inside a cot (in a separate room) is not always the safest choice too. There are cases of babies who died while sleeping inside their cot too. We can try to minimise risk but sometimes accident still happens.

👉🏻Every baby is unique and there is no one perfect solution that works for all babies. Some method may work for baby 1 but not on baby 2. I have heard from many parents who told me that before they became parents; they thought they were well-prepared from reading all the guide to parenting 101, but then when it comes to the actual thing, many supposedly proven methods DON'T WORK .. and we can only try whatever we can and learn "on job". Often, we doubt ourselves for every decisions we made... we will not know whether our method works but we hope for the best. Parents will continue to worry till maybe our kids have grown up or till the day we part the world. Or perhaps still worrying when we are up in heaven. 

The parents in the article are probably in grief and will do anything and everything to have their baby back so hope people who made insensitive comments will learn to understand their pain.

Hope to article will help to spread love & knowledge and not hate & doubts. 

- Mommy eve